Table of Contents

The Wretched Crusade

The land of Barrow's Maw has played host to many adventurers, both fair and foul, in its history. However, few compare in their infamy with the one known as the Wretched Crawler. A necromancier, once native to the Ohm Basin, who fell afoul of ambition and lust for power, who forged pacts with all manner of foul beings in its quest for mastery over life and death. Shedding its mortal visage to become an immortal undead creature known as a Lich, the Wretched Crawler abandoned the Basin and its former colleagues. Like a cancer, it settled in the badlands north of the Merric Wood and began fortifying an abandoned fortress, while harassing residents as a petty warlord, in an effort to accrue more of the region's lost knowledge and hidden arcane power.

In time, the Crawler's presence within the Basin could not be tolerated by the good and godly. The adventurers of the Ohm Bastion, a local guild dedicated to peace and friendship, organized an effort to end the Crawler's dominion over the Merric Wood and to put the foul creature at last to its Final Rest.

What they could not have realized at the time, was The Crawler's final resting place being its own personal demiplane. The citadel in the Merric Wood served only as a gateway into The Crawler's Wretched Plane, a nightmare realm of death and despair populated by a small kingdom of minions and monsters The Crawler had cultivated to its own ends.

Undaughted by the task before them, the crusaders of the Ohm Bastion plunged into the lifeless heart of the Crawler's domain, to wage endless war on an eternal being. With the Crusaders long since departed and the Age of Fire coming to a close, it is not known what has become of the Crusade. Perhaps they were extinguished by the grasping skeletal hands of the Lich Lord. Or perhaps they perserver, their glorious holy light a candle flickering in the void.

Notable Personae

The Party

Mostly consisting of former Friendmakers of the Ohm Bastion, the party is out for justice and for blood (or whatever the lich equivalent). They intend to end the lich permanently— to venture into its fortress and shatter its phylactery.

NPCs:

(Only those NPCs which the party knew beforehand.)

Fit the First: Proper Preparations Prevent Piss-Poor Performance

This was not the first time Rainer, Earcorn, and Ava had been to the Wretch Plane. A previous expedition had led the Bastion's forces against the Crawler's fortress, seizing the Crawler's stronghold in the Basin and pushing him all the way back through the permanent portal and further.

Rainer, in a war-room at the Bastion, gathers the four members of the Bastion and one uneasy ally and addresses the party:

“Wretch has fashioned itself its little world as a kind of… cyst or tumor between larger planes. It clings between the First Heaven and Avernus, where demons and devils wage their endless blood war.” Rainer indicates a spot on the planar diagram hanging on the wall. “There is some spillover, and Wretch appears happy to accommodate both demons and devils in his employment. Thus far we have only encountered the devils.”

“The entire plane constantly deals negative energy damage; Kyrry is working on a way to mitigate that, I believe.” The tiefling woman nods, and Rainer continues. “We might be able to use Rope Trick again—”

“We can't.” Ava interrupts. “Wretch retooled how the plane works specifically because I abused Rope Trick in our previous visit, so I am positive something terrible will happen if you try to hide in an extradimensional space.”

“Rope Trick being unavailable means we'll need to prepare three Avoid Planar Effects per day. Not a huge deal, but worth mentioning,” Kyrry chimes in.

“I can cover one of them,” Earcorn volunteers. “… Probably. It depends how hard it is to cast healing spells.”

“Regardless, the Wretched Plane has several features we cannot mitigate.” Rainer gets everybody back on track. The planning continues well into the night.2)

As the party sleeps, two silhouettes meet in the courtyard:

A shadow is visible from Ava's room moving near to one of the older oak trees in the courtyard. Ava peers out into the darkness with her Darkvision. Sir Earcorn Fardream, Fifth Friendmaker, slayer of Alharat Viselia, waits in the shadows.

Without so much as a word or gesture, Ava disappears from the window and instantly reappears before him. She looks up at him appraisingly. “It seems only yesterday you were that neophyte your predecessor was leading into certain doom.”

Earcorn's gaze is steely, lacking something of the glint of innocence it once held. He speaks in a hushed tone: “Much has changed since that fateful day at the fort of the Wretched Crawler. Much for myself, much for Ohm Bastion. I won't defend every choice Keyleth made, but I won't besmirch her name, either.”

Ava gives an approving nod. “I like the look of you better now. Naivety has been supplanted by a maturity that more befits your race. Your experience will serve you well in the days to come.”

“Under less dire circumstances, I'd like to ask you more about how you knew Keyleth. As things stand, I think we have more pressing matters to attend to. I cannot say I'm as familiar with you as you I, but I certainly hope if you're here for what I think you are, that you have got some very powerful tricks up your sleeves.”

“The short answer is that I didn't; she reached out to me since she learned from Lydia that I hate undead. We spoke briefly and I thought she had the right of it as far as our mutual enemy is concerned.”

She scowls slightly as she continues, “Regarding those matters, I have sent out the call to the old and powerful here in Barrow's Maw, and they shall enter the plane with us. And rest assured, what I have are no mere tricks. I am the natural enemy of the undead, and I will obliterate them or bend them to my will as it suits me. Even the Wretch himself will be powerless once we are properly prepared to face him.”

“Well, my approach is…somewhat different, but I get similar results at the end of the day” Earcorn says, reflexively putting his hand on a scroll tied to his belt. “Differences in methodology aside, I can't help but think we're going to get along just fine, Ava. Assuming we aren't both killed and turned into undead thralls, a mockery of what we once were in life, heh. Then again we'll probably get along ok if that happens too!”

Ava replies with a pallid smile. “Think positive, Earcorn. I have a daughter to return home to, and so I have no intention of falling or being turned in the course of our quest. We will head in there, destablize his realm, gather our strength, and kill him. And thanks to the time dilation, I'll be able to present the broken remains of his phylactery to Molly as a present for her next birthday.”3)

Even with the Avoid Planar Effects spell, the Wretch Plane presented some very nasty natural terrain: Any healing spell, due to some foul bent, required a check or else fizzled. Teleportation was inadvisable; the entire plane was under some massive redirect and any attempt to so much as Dimension Door forced a separate save for each teleportee, or else get teleported to the Bad Zone. Most subtle of all, for every hour spent in the Wretch Plane, ten hours would pass in the outside world. And of course the portal previously allowing admission to the plane was sealed. The party would have to find a way in, then likely trek across the entire plane to the Crawler's fortress. And so the party prepared.

Earcorn obtained items and derived spells to overcome the Healing check. Ava invented arcane dweomers to use specifically against liches. Kyrry mastered Avoid Planar Effects, hoping to avoid the negative energies (though not the injunction against healing and teleportation). Val did kobold things. And Rainer? Rainer tried to find a way onto the plane in the first place…

With some amount of glee, Rainier bursts fourth from the Alchemical Laboratory, waving a schematic in his hands.

“Bones of a saint, blood of a Tiefling! The resonance matches! I've cracked it. That Wretch parked his plane directly on the cusp between Heaven and Hell. Tell Friendmaker Altan that the expedition is back on.”

Glancing around the Bastion, “uh incidentally, are there any Tieflings about who might consider a small donation to a charitable cause?”4)

Ava happened to have some saint bones lying around, on the condition that the Good-aligned members not ask where she got them. Kyrry was more than happy to donate blood; she expected to spill yet more taking down the Crawler. And Rainer forged small tuning fork made of iron, heated over the burning bones of a saint, and then quenched in the blood of a Tiefling; precisely seven inches long, with one fork curled slightly inwards.

They had a way in.

Bullet-point Notes from Obbie's Original Omporium:

  • Discussion of the actual Planar effects, Teleport-inhibiting and Healing-inhibiting.
  • No Rope Trick because Wretch specifically retooled the entire plane following the previous incursion.
  • The Wretch Plane basic layout- several major cities, ruled by more minor liches and other minons subservient to Wretch, things are typically build out of bone. Wretch Fortress in the center. Evil Fucking river.
  • The River debate (Earcorn drinks??) What the river does, approximately & to the parties’ understanding (max HP loss, vile damage which is nearly as bad, gives Tomb-Tainted Soul and Inflict SLAs).
  • Making the Fork, researching and acquiring ingredients. Kyrry donates blood.
  • Gearing up

ENTERING THE PLANE

Rainer plane shifts into the Void Ava casts Overland Flight on herself and uses her Belt of Giant Strength +6 (kinda weird for a wizard) to drag everyone from no-grav void back to solid land. Meetup with Keyleth.

FIT THE SECOND: Wigglethum’s Wands and Wickedness

  • Man with the dog-skull beard (glows slightly)
  • Various terrible Wares: Earcorn wants to by a scroll of Clutch of Orcus, stock in the back of Nipple Clamps of Exquisite Pain, etc… Ava buys a scroll to transcribe.
  • Ava goes to apprentice/cashier and asks for Wigglethum:
  • Like a wizard-shaped hole in Reality, with a hat taller than he is, Wigglethum appears. Cashier has the awe and fear of seeing a Nephlihim.
  • Ava has already taken a few of Wigglethum’s spells from the book. Mostly evil, negative energy, some mass drain life and turn into damage effects. Some grey-elf-targeted spells, including elf-only Slay Living at lower level; Wigglethum (or his apprentice? unclear) apparently really really really hates one specific gray elf (possibly the lich that shows up later?).
  • Ava gives back spellbook. Wigglethum hands over wand— it appears to be very cursed. Resists Identify.
  • Val asks where Wigglethum got the awesome hat. Wigglethum hands over business card recommending Eld; (talk about Eld the Elder, Eld the Younger, the arm Lich). Ava does skill checks on the common superstition that bigger hat = more magic; it’s a superstition, but by the Power of Mortal Belief, might actually be marginally true. Ava grudgingly agrees to come with Val to get at hat made; feeling ridiculous is a msall price to pay for any sliver of magical power (Val informs her that looking ridiciousl is itself part of the price.)
  • More asking after wares with the cashier, who admirably recovers from religious experience, perhaps thinking that it is his religious duty as an adherent to Wigglethum to run Wigglethum’s Emporium.

FIT THE THIRD: The Paladin’s Tale

  • Meet up with Keyleth, who is busy rescuing refugees. Keyleth recommends assault on more minor lich who serves as Gatekeeper.
  • Earcorn has already helped Keyleth kill this lich. Each time, they take its gear, and so the lich grows slighly weaker. Lich is out of favor with Wretch and thus has no shortcut to gear replenishment.
  • They go towards the fortress, looking to break the phylactery.
  • Run across some Barghests, a short fight ensues; Ava reveals she’s memorized every creature she’s ever fought against and then some.
  • Another random encounter I think.
  • The final encounter’s a doozy.

FIT THE FOURTH:
The Killing

  • They run into *the very lich they were trying to kill* performing some ritual
  • Not even with Buff spells on, at least not the rnds/lvl one.
  • Also some other undead (Wretchlings? Intelligent, but not *that* intelligent) and an Undead Ogre Cannonneer, wielding a fucking cannon in two hands.
  • Ava cuts off most of the minons with a Wall of Stone, then airbursts a Glitterdust to blind most of the minions. She knows that Undead have poor will saves due to being immune to Mind-Affecting.
  • Lich drops some Black Tentacles, many people save, Vaz is flying too high, Earcorn uses Travel Domain
  • Ava tries to 1v1 lich while the others focus on the minions.
  • Ava is amused to learn that blind minions ignore her primary defensive buff, Mirror Image. They still miss though.
  • The ogre dishes out some damage with his cannon, after using Boots of Speed to move around the Wall.
  • Lich gets off a Baleful Polymorph on Ava and turns her into a wingless bird.
  • Ava still has Flight and Tongues, and so can communicate and move like a drone, not a bird, but is effectively out of the fight.
  • They clean up, lich is fairly satisfied with Polymorhing Ava and doesn’t complain too much about being destroyed.
  • Once the lich is down, the minions surrender. The Ogre throws his cannon down and runs, stupid fast given Boots of Speed— but Vaz tags it with a Magic Missile and, miraculously, it drops.
  • Blind Wretchling, finding itself apparently alone (not realizing the Party is sticking aroun and still watching it), tries a D-Door. Two coins come up, blakc and red tumbling over each other- both come up red, and in the instant that the wretchling vanishes, blood-chilling screams can be faintly hear. Don’t fuck with the teleportation wards.
  • We continue on.
  • Ava does some calculations and decides that taking an extra day to fully heal, cast break enchantment, and transcribe the scroll is worth the significant increase in the chance that the lich manages to finish reconstruction before they can break its phylactery. Thus, they arrive at the fortress with full spell slots.

FIT THE FORTH: The Liches’ Fort

  • Party approaches the fort
  • Morgh ambush. They fail to eat Kyrry flat-footed. They die.
  • Various traps: blades from doors, posions, etc, etc. Kyrry disarms them.
  • Corridor of Annihilation. Walls, ceilings, floor are enchanted a la Spheres of Annihilation, party tests with rock I think?
  • Basically Fly through it.
  • Eventually find the apprentice holed up in a room. Ava negotiates, appreciates how he is being ‘reasonable’ (the apprentice prefers ‘intelligent’). Apprentice basically states he has no intention of interfering with the party provided they don’t try to kill him (in fact he hates his boss and this would probably be a promotion). Ava thinks this is ‘cute’.
  • Apprentice is eventually negotiated to provide actual, active help. In return he demands a Plane Shift to get him *out* of this fucking place. His name is… “dirk”? “dave”? there’s an evil necromancer organization for Daves, apparently.
  • Still remains in the room, though, just willing to give advice on those traps which he knows about.
  • Then we come across the Phylactery…

* Wack-a-Mole with shields until someone rides one? Someone outstrengths one, saves vs. ouchies… the portals teleport into Dave's room when hit (like a shell game but no real one).

RESOLUTION: * Ohm Bastion receives messages that Molly, Ava's daughter, has gotten Sendings from Ava who says not to raise her corpse (and claims to be still alive).

Battle for The Wretch's Hold

TBD: Write-up (could have sworn someone already did this) (Sorry, that was me but the wiki didn't save. I'm gonna get on it from notes. — Obbie)

Interlude: Lord Keyleth's Adventures on the Wretched Plane

(TBD: Dusty's notes go here)

First Expedition into the Wretched Plane

TBD:

* Arrival and discovery of planar characteristics

* The city of <name>

* Meeting with Keyleth and raid on the Lich <name> Fortress

** Destruction of the Lich's Sacred Shield Phylactry

CREDITS:

BashfulBob, Edith, and Ava, for writing RP heavily sampled or quoted;

Kyrry, Mona, and Gribbly, for playing the adventure and establishing their characters;

Edith, for creating the adventure in the first place.

And Obbie, BashfulBob, and [placeholder], for transcribing the session into prose.

1)
Keyleth is another former PC of Dusty; Dusty opted to play Ava instead and handed Keyleth to the DM for this adventure.
2)
Stolen not only from the Wretched Crusade thread, but also myriad OOC session prep. Artistic interpretation by Obbie, please change to suit your characters.
3)
Copied verbatim the 11 Nov Dusty-Mona RP in Axe and Sickle. Exceedingly nice prose, folks.
4)
Quoted verbatim from BashfulBob, Ohm Bastion, 7 Nov 2023